I had this bizarre thought as I stood in the Welsh rain looking over the lake yesterday morning.
‘Find the formula and get the chocolate.’
Where did that come from? Especially as I was pondering big metaphysical questions on the purpose of life and direction while enjoying the beauty of the valley and appreciating its glorious ecosystem at play.
But that was it. I am surrounded by and observe the natural world evolving in abundance every day, yet internally I still have a mechanical and deterministic scarcity mindset.
Oh, bother. I am exposed and laid bare. I’m still looking for the formula that will guarantee success, that I can control to get my needs met.
And that means I still think, deep down, that I have to earn life and love. That who I am and what I do hasn’t yet earned the chocolate, and I love really good chocolate …
These mental maps are so ingrained. Yet, I know that seeing them is part of unlocking them.
Knowing they are there, giving a distorted version of reality, is the first step towards rewiring my perception and changing my internal narrative.
This is hard work… now where’s the chocolate?